Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Me. At least after what I've been through.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
