he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
