I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
