just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
