i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
