She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
