she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize