Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize