i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
