I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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