Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
