I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
