she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
