is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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