You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
