Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Can Purell be used as lube?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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