I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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