Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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