I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
