By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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