weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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