You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
