Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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