fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
