Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
