I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
