she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
