Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
