Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
