my mouth tastes like poor choices
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
