I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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