He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
