sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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