p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Quick, to the slutcave!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I wish there were birth control emojis
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I need to calm my uterus...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
