Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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