I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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