If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
