Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
