I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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