I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
i think im in europe. pls send help
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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