Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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