May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
