So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
