I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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