i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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