Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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