Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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