are you so shy because you have an std?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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