i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
