the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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