well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
no you cant smoke seaweed
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
