I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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