I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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