I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
