But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
